walking by faith

I have often wondered what exactly this phrase entails, and I’ve often come to the conclusion that it is something quite a bit bigger than we usually think. Walking by faith doesn’t mean praying, reading, naively believing that life is going to be just perfect, and going our merry way – which God has been trying to teach me for several years. Rather, walking by faith means fixing our eyes on the goal and taking the steps God leads to that end – even if it means a lot of hurt and despair in between. Blessedly, it usually results in a life that is somehow beautiful and rich in spite of the pain – because that is the perfect God we serve.

This morning as I write, the verse comes to mind: “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” (II Corinthians 5:7)

Walking by sight would be to look at Ivory’s progress and see the possibilities and impossibilities from my very human perspective, which is such a strong temptation. I can see changes, so I know that they are there. Or, sometimes, I can’t see changes, so I’m unconvinced. This morning, one doctor came in and told me that Ivory was doing much better and he thought there was a possibility she could go home tomorrow. The other doctor came in an hour later and told me that she was doing well, hadn’t vomited up the tiny bit that they had given her to eat, and that she was growing and progressing – all really good things – but it was all happening very slowly. He’s hoping to give her food tomorrow and start gradually decreasing her oxygen once she’s breathing just a little bit easier. So if we were walking by sight, we would be very confused.

Walking by faith would be to look at the end goal that God has provided for us – Monday – and knowing that He will work to that end, in a way that only He can.

After our post yesterday, we realized that there are a lot of different reactions. People are worried for us, that we will be disappointed. People are facing reality and feeling like maybe we’re not. People are a little bit skeptical, which I can understand. Truly, I am thankful – for your protection, for your love, and for your concern, and because I know that you, too, are walking in the Spirit and listening to what He says and are speaking what He reveals to you.

Our post yesterday was not at all meant to cause people to feel uncomfortable or worried for us. Quite honestly, there are times when it’s easy for me to question, because it doesn’t really make sense. It is confusing when the doctors tell me two different things. But that is why I have to walk by faith and not by sight.

We posted what we posted yesterday because that is what God revealed to us. That is how He was working to answer your many, many prayers that you are sending up for us and for Ivory.  God knew the point I was at. He knew I needed an end in sight. He knew the questions in my mind and the struggles that I was going through. And so He gave us the seventh day – the rest from the worries, the completion of Creation, and the peace.

Since then, Satan has tried to destroy that peace many times. The most normal thing for Ivory to experience at this point would probably be several more days to even a week or two more in the hospital. And I am open to that, if that were God’s will. But I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think that’s His will, and that is what He was showing me the other night.

I’ve been very humbled. I don’t know why God has given us this end, when there are so many people whose children have much more complicated problems, who would give much to have the hope that we’ve been given. Perhaps He’s given us this end because my faith is weak – He knows that I can’t take much more. Maybe He’s given us this story to encourage and strengthen the faith of others. Likely, He’s given us Genesis 1 as part of a much greater plan that we can’t even begin to understand right now. And definitely, He’s given us Genesis 1 as a reminder of His ability to create and breathe life into all things – a power that only He holds.

Our prayer is that “[…] God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.” (I Peter 4:11)

“Wherefore, let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.” (I Peter 4:19)

Thank you for supporting us with prayer and for committing Ivory to the perfect plan of a faithful Creator.