the lizard

And this is the lovely lizard that I had the privilege of having a battle with the other day. I wish I could say I chased it out the door, but... I actually accidentally chased it into our bedroom and lost it. So far no sign of him, but not the most wonderful feeling in the world. 

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What you are seeing here is the last part of Hannah's post entitled "welcoming fall" posted exactly two days ago. I (Grant) will do my best to finish the rest of the story, which, in fact, came to a final conclusion this evening.

I'll be honest, I kind of forgot about the lizard. I didn't see anything or hear anything, so I figured it wasn't in the room. Plus, it was two days ago. But...as we were heading to bed this evening, I heard the fan rustling some papers in the corner by our nightstand. Except that the fan wasn't pointing towards those papers....uh....yeah. Something's wrong here.

With incredible courage, I peeked behind the nightstand to see the ugliest, meanest, most nasty looking lizard I have ever seen in my life. Actually, it was a pretty typical little guy - probably about six inches long, but all this time I had a beautiful maiden in distress jumping up and down, screaming and carrying on, just begging me to be her hero. Actually, she was just loudly proclaiming to no one in particular that she couldn't believe that a lizard had been living in her bedroom where she had been sleeping and spending most of her days sewing. Judging from where the lizard first ran when I scared it with my terrible and awfully ferocious broom, the lizard appeared to have been hanging out behind our headboard. Very comforting feeling knowing he was protecting our heads while we slept the last two nights.

While some of the details in the last paragraph may have been a little exaggerated, I really had tell myself all of those things to muster up the wherewithall to take on that dragon-like animal by myself, with just a broom and basket to throw over it if it ever made it out into the open. After getting myself all psyched up with these romantic (in an adventurous sense) details, I succeeded in getting the lizard out of it's corner and into the open. In fact, the lizard came right to me. Really fast. I mean really, really fast. And I was barefoot.

I let out one of those man screams - you know, the kind that just alerts your wife that you're conquering the giants for her. These screams are gruff and just let the enemy know that you're in charge. In the spirit of honesty though, I'll have to admit that my gruff man scream may have had a bit of an adolescent crack to it. The pitch really didn't come out like it was supposed to, but I'm pretty sure I still impressed Hannah.

To make a long story short and not to bore you with all the details, the lizard made it out of the house. After 45 minutes of moving, brooming, shoving, searching, we finally corned the critter behind the dresser. Hannah stood at one end with her sewing machine case cover and I scared the lizard toward her. It actually ran into the case cover and Hannah slammed it against the side of the dresser and hollered continuously until I ran like a mad man in search of something big and flat to be a lid for her case cover. I found the pizza box from our Sam's pizza tonight, dumped out the leftover crust and the olives we picked off, plus the big black bug that had already arrived to enjoy the grease, and rushed to her rescue. Believe it or not, we got the lizard out.

I will post a few pictures of the room after the fight, plus the weapons we used. You will notice there are no people in these pictures. That is due to my conviction that pictures of me wearing something that I wouldn't be seen in public with should not be on social networking sites. Just for the record, I do not go out in public wearing basketball shorts and Sunday shoes.

Sleep tight, everyone - don't let the lizards bite.