gourds

We read in Jonah in church yesterday.

"And the Lord God prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his grief. So Jonah was exceeding glad of the gourd." (Jonah 4:6)

In the past several years, so many of you have been "gourds" in my life. It's a little humbling as I sit here, wondering how to express it to you. And I hope you realize that it's a good thing - I'm not trying to compare you to ugly squash.

We were in a conversation recently with an Ixtlan church couple. We love them dearly, and they are so valuable to the church. However, a problem we have here I feel like more than other places is that people can be very critical. I think there's a lot of reasons for it; the church is young, and its a little cultural to gossip and complain, just to name a few. Sometimes we feel like not a lot happens around here... not a lot of exciting events or much to change up life, and so people, including us, sometimes get stuck in ruts of criticizing and complaining, because there's just not a lot to talk about. Of course, we could learn to count our blessings. Then we would definitely have plenty to talk about!

But anyway, a lot of criticism towards others was produced in this conversation. There was a lot of focus on problems. I walked away from it feeling a little depressed and actually still wondering what exactly was the real problem here. A lot of the things they brought up were, indeed, problems. But in talking to Grant, I was able to identify a problem that was maybe even bigger: they just weren't giving any grace.

As I thought about it later in my quiet time, it made me realize how much grace I have been given by each one of you. I've grown a lot since we moved to Ixtlan over two years ago, and none of the growth has been easy. Sometimes, the stress of being here has caused me to treat others or speak to others in ways that I wish I wouldn't have. Sometimes, difficult situations or relationships here have affected the way I interact with people in the U.S. Sometimes, although many of you have been so generous with your time and resources and blessed us in so many ways, I've been selfish with ours and have not been the friend I should be. I have grown a lot, like I said, but when I think about all the mistakes that I made that have caused me to learn, it seems like my growth has been at great cost to others.

And yet you have all shown me so much grace. In doing so, you have given me an example, and have given me a glimpse into how, exactly, I can bless others here. I can be a gourd - giving grace to those around me.

Thank you for being gourds in my life - I am exceeding glad of each one of you who have shown me grace as I grow. :)