pondering

"But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart." (Luke 2:19)

Can you imagine how Mary was feeling at this point? First, an angel came to tell Mary that she would be the mother of the Son of God. That alone would have been enough to think about for a while, but then she learns that her cousin, despite all logic, is also expecting a baby. Mary goes into the "hill country" to be with Elizabeth for several months, and Elizabeth's baby is born. Then, Mary takes yet another journey - this time to Bethlehem, and this time, very uncomfortable physically and ready to deliver her baby. Jesus is born, and then angels spread the news, and then the Baby's first visitors are some shepherds that Mary doesn't even know...

no wonder she had a lot to ponder. 

I've never really thought about that verse in light of all the changes that were happening in Mary's life. She was being asked to exhibit an enormous trust in God while at the same time going through many physical changes and taking trips and such... she had a lot to sort through. 

Although I'm not in the exact same life situation as Mary, this verse makes so much more sense to me this week than it ever has before. As we've been sorting through our own lives... our past, present, and future... trying to make decisions based on the knowns, which are few... trying to trust God with the unknowns, which are many... I just kind of want to shut everyone out and just get it all figured out and then maybe I'll be ready to talk about some of it but then again, maybe not. 

But we felt like the days after we got back from Magdalena were gifts from God in the sense that they were slow... leaving Grant and I with plenty of time together to talk, and try to make sense of everything that's going on. And I feel much better now... much more at peace with God and His plan, honestly. And more at peace with myself, and my own needs, desires, talents, weaknesses, etc, and with who I am in Christ. 

In fact, Monday morning... despite the fact that it was still raining... was one of the best mornings I've had in a while. I woke up feeling motivated, feeling like I had the mental capacity to do what I needed to do, and feeling like life was looking up. Praise the Lord!

You know you've spent lots of rainy days inside when the most exciting thing is the water pouring off the roof after Daddy unclogs the drain pipes...