"on my knees, You're not so far away"

To begin... thank you so much to all of you who have been praying for Ivory. It has been an exhausting... time (losing track of it these days) trying to figure out what all is going on, but we have been in contact with some wonderful people who have helped us to understand her problem.

We've tried several things - half breastmilk, half formula, all formula, all breastmilk - and its just been very hard to figure out the differences and know what to attribute them to. Finally, Janelle recommended that I call Sam Steffen, who is a doctor from Bloomington and who has been an incredible blessing to us. After talking through some things with him on Thursday morning, he said that it could definitely be lactose intolerance but encouraged me to get a second opinion from a doctor down here. So I contacted another pediatrician who had been recommended to me by a friend. He was excellent - very thorough, patient, knowledgeable, and experienced. After quite a while talking to him, a day of half breastmilk/half formula experiment, and another stool test, he feels that it is very unlikely lactose intolerance as the blood in her stool is very fresh. He feels that it is coming from something further down in her digestive system... and scheduled her for a colonoscopy.

That sent me reeling, to say the least. I asked a lot of times if there were other things they could do to figure out her problem and kept getting told no. Finally, I came back here and this evening we called Dr. Steffen again. To our surprise, he was very supportive and really encouraged us that this is the best thing to do at this point. I could go into a lot of detail about Ivory's stool and such, but I will spare you... the long and short of it is that both Dr. Steffen and the pediatrician feel that it could be an inflammation of some sort in her bowel and a colonoscopy would tell us that. There are some risks associated with the procedure, especially since she is so little, but they are pretty small.

After talking with them and both of our parents this evening, we feel very confident moving forward with the colonoscopy on Monday, even though it will probably be a little difficult for all of us.

We're learning a lot - especially learning that with parenting, the worrying never stops. I'm learning that I have to pray, or I probably won't be able to survive parenthood because the stress is just too much to handle on my own. And Ivory's condition isn't even that severe. I can't imagine what its like for parents whose children have more life-threatening situations.

Less importantly, I'm learning a ton of medical Spanish and sort of learning how to interpret stool test results in Spanish, which seems like it is a somewhat unnecessary language acquisition - there are other things I'd much rather be able to do in the language, but oh well. The point is, I'm learning.

Laura Z. sent me this song a while back, and I have to post it here because it came to mind when I was trying to think of a title. Really, I think the song is more the perspective of someone "back home" praying to God on our behalf, but the phrase I chose as the title took on new meaning as I was sitting here thinking about it. When I am on my knees, everything seems closer - God, family, home - and much less overwhelming.

"We heard Him call you out
And by faith we had no doubt.
We know that you must follow and obey.
Though you're answering a call, I can't help but think of all
the times when you weren't so far away.

But when I pray for you, the way I often do
As I think of you, each and every day...
Though it seems we're far apart
I know deep in my heart
We'll be together
When I pray.

I know you'll feel alone, and oh so far from home.
And the missing you grows harder every day
But hold on to the promise, that He will never leave us
And know that your name's mentioned when I pray

God will work all things for our good
He gives me strength, just like He said He would!
On my knees, you're not so far away...
And I'm closest to you when I start to pray."

(Pray For You, Wissmann Family)

We feel very blessed by all of you who are praying. Many people have supported us in so many ways throughout the past few weeks. Thanks so much to everyone who helped out at home so that Mom could be here. She flew home last night - we all miss her very much, especially Ivory who now has a little bit harder of a time not being held quite as often. :)

Jan was able to go with me to the doctor's office this morning, which was a tremendous help, and many parents and physicians have given us extremely valuable information as we try to sort through everything. We appreciate you all so much.

One of these days, we will get around to updating you what is going on with the ministry, the house, and our other projects around here, because there are other things happening... even though it seems like I've done nothing but drive into Zamora for the past seven weeks. Thanks for your patience.

And just a few more recent pictures of Ivory - although the pediatrician says she's not gaining quite like she should be (which hopefully will be resolved once we figure out her digestive system), she's getting stronger and more active, which is so fun.

She likes the Boppy. Mom called it a "recliner for babies" - there are definitely similarities!

Lots of hours spent in the van. Not sure what to attribute her facial expression in this picture to. 

On her playmat from Grandma/Great-Grandma W. 

Cashed out on the Boppy.

Big eyes.

Every day, I think about what a precious miracle she and all the other little ones out there are. Every day, I think about how quickly this month and a half have slipped by... and wonder what that means for the next twenty years. And every day, I have to remind myself that God does hold her in His big, strong hands every step of the way.

Have a blessed Sunday!